Friday, March 23, 2007

Porkoo, season 1, episode 2 - At the game (cont'd)

But wait: if they can't tell I'm a Poli fan, I'll be fine, won't I?

So was Porkoo thinking and planning his one piece escape from the middle of the vasluians. He pretended he was cold, wrapping his blue-white scarf around his neck under his coat and went on eating his seeds. Terrorized by the fact that a single smile might reveal him, he showed a serious, immovable face, and even looked away when important game moments took place.
For Porkoo's misfortune to be complete, Poli had all the chances to score you can imagine but they didn't. At one of them, when Porkoo was looking away so that he wouldn't be tempted to cheer, a sunflower seed fan behind him remarked: "Hey, smartie, have you grown a face on the wrong side of your body?" Oh no, Porkoo, don't let them become suspicious! If it wouldn't be a serious face he has to show, he would even cry looking at the Poli horde on the other side of the stadium, all happy that their favorites are "on them, on their mother!" (also a Romanian hooligan saying).

But look, another chance for Iasi to score, it's the 88th minute and Balba is going inside the square with the ball, he's gonna scooooore... but, no, he's illegally stopped by one of the vasluians... Penalty shot!!!!! yeeey!... but Balba is hit pretty bad... the ambulance takes him straight to the hospital! You bloody vasluian bastards, you hit our star!!!! DAMN IT, DAMN IT, I cannot hold it anymore, damn it! Onut shoots the penalty kick and he scores!!! We wooon, we wooon!

"Yeeeey!!!! GO POOOOLIIII!!! YEEEEEEYYY!!!"yy... Oups...

Again, his seat companions weren't as happy as him... The big sunflower seeds fans behind him - remember them, don't you? -, after a short grief, look at Porkoo as if they want to send him to accompany his idol, Balba.

"Sorry guys, I meant BUUUUU... a-a-accc-tually I said BUUU, you must have misheard it... i-i-t was the echo from the other ss-s-s-i-d-d-d-de..." He didn't get to finish his new sonic theory: one of the guys slapped him really hard on the back of his head. The birds are singing again, it's spring time. While all the others were leaving the stadium and the big guys were in the middle of a lesson on "Sound trajectory through punches and feet - with practical examples", a tall blonde girl with a perfect 90-60-90 body, big boobs and golden hair stops in front of their seats and shouts: "Hey, brother, where were you? I've been looking for you all evening, damn it!" It was the beautiful sister of one of the big guys and normally Porkoo would be fascinated but now he's only enjoying some punchless moments! The girl comes to them and his brother explains to her what happened, ending with: "Well, that's it! Love hurts: you must suffer for your team else is not true love! Ha-ha-ha".

She looks at Porkoo who tried hardly to stand and walk, with his Poli scarf all dirty now and with blood on his face. "C'mon, guys, you were mean... Look at him!" she says and then she gets her perfumed napkin out of her yellow-green purse and delicately wipes his face. OOOOOHHHH MMMMYYY GOOOD, maaaaan, punch me again, please! thinks Porkoo. She bends to his ear and whispers: "Hey, how about a 'game' between you and me tonight?" OOOhhh mmmmyyyy Goood! "well... let me think first... ... YEEEES!". So they leave the stadium, arm to arm, all giggling and making fun of some people's exaggerated passion for the favorite team.

Because she is the daughter of a wealthy Vaslui business-man, she has a room rented at a luxury hotel in Iasi. They get inside the room all hot and kissing, they tear their clothes off (even her yellow-green bra), but suddenly "AAAAHHH, my god, my back aches, I can't move... It must be your brother's feet! Oh, God, it hurts so bad!". "Oh, Porkoo, I'm sorry for this!" "Well, it's not your fault, let's continue" says hot Porkoo. But "Ahh, damn it, I can't!! It hurts! It hurts!". "It's no problem, Porkoo! We'll only sleep in each other's arms... I'm happy just to hold you!" said the girl cuddling in his arms.

They spent a few more hours chatting and then went asleep with Porkoo's mind focused on a single thought: next time, he will support the right team!

1 comment:

adina said...

How do you think her brother is going to react when he sees she has made friends with a Poli Iasi supporter ?

My guess, Porkoo is going to get more punches, she will wipe his face with her perfumed napkin and they will live happily ever after :-)